Entry 11: Gah, why did this have to happen?

June 10th, 2025

Well... that was... interesting. Didn't get the results I wanted, at all. But you know what? I think there is a lesson in all of this. One week went by, and as I said in the last entry:

"You know, a week can either have a lot of things happen, or, nothing at all."

So then, what let's reflect what I was able to do. Mind you, during this time I was still enduring adapting to New England's summer allergies fest, as well getting sick Saturday night.

Jurassic Park: "It's not a lizard, it's a Compy!"

Idle time was surprisingly a good support for me to start reading. Ironically, it was what helped me read the beginning, all of Iteration 1, and some of Iteration 2. As I waited at Toyota getting the keys fixed for my grandfather's car, I read. When I got coffee at The Lost Shoe, I read. Then the meme of Lisa Simpson gawking at a book started happening. I reached Iteration 2 and things started to distract me. Something I take all blame for.

First was thinking of time to work on the Marvel Rivals video, then it was planning the photography shoots, then music played in my head as I tried to focus on words on the page, then y, then z. I ended up only reading what I have mentioned. I tried to adapt and write what I could for what I read, but nothing came to mind, and the deadlines got closer by the day. Ultimately, I scrapped the idea.

I would still like to finish the book. If not to be covered somewhere, at least for me to say "yeah, I read it."

• Note: Little to no "health issues" asides from a runny nose during this time of the week

"So little videos to make, so much time to make them-

Strike that, reverse it."

One day, I thought I was on a roll with recording the video for the Marvel Rivals content. And trust me, it's easy to boot up OBS, play a little bit with motive, and have that as B-Roll. Then came the writing section of the task.

I blanked once more.

Point Blank Period.

As I took a break, I downloaded Jurassic Park: The Game as a preparation of sorts to work on another day. I couldn't even record anything for that since I began to get sick. Let me tell you first hand:

A sore throat, frequent runny/bleeding nose, and headaches do not mix well.

As I was bed resting, I watched Predator: Killer of Killers and gained sudden motivation to write. I wrote the script that night and I thought I was getting better. The script was decent when I read it the next day, and I tried to record through the discomfort.

Long story short, after many tried, I ended up not making anything.

The Lens: It gave 70:30 stats

It's a given that when you have a new lens, you mess up a little bit learning how to use it. The volleyball tournament when well. I even thought I was feeling better since the nose bleeds were reducing. I drove to Rhode Island (approximately a few hours from my home) and waited to meet with the team. There, I ate a small lunch and headed on to prepare for the game. Meeting the team, I made sure everyone understood what I was offering as a service and we were on our merry way. I even made a small friend who was shooting video with (I believe) a Sony A6400 rig, even exchanging Instagram with the creative. I tested some video settings and filmed with the lens.

There is a learning curve with the 200-600mm inside the stadium. Nonetheless, photos came clear on the monitor, but were grainy once on my monitor. Video for some reason was not effected? I'm still not entirely sure what or where I went wrong with that. I ended the day eating as I left, and headed home.

That night, I began to feel super hot in my room. I began to have nose bleeds again, even feeling really woozy from being sleep deprived. I ended up sleeping only a small amount and remained in bed waking up on Sunday, unable to attend church physically. After a few hours, I threw up. A lot. After getting a little bit of energy being in fetal position in the shower questioning every single thing I ate on Saturday that could have done this to me-

"Oh my gosh it could have been the lobster salad sandwich I got from xyz."

Rather than being a sad raisin in the shower: I lifted myself up, cleaned myself up, got some crackers, and headed to the computer to work on the photos that were approved for submission.

After editing all Sunday, I presented the final work I had for the group and received a overall positive reception for the work. Even having permission to share it to another group chat the team was in.

What am I learning from the odd experiences this week?

I couldn't make this videos I wanted, but I got close to making something and that's all that mattered. I learned about the error I was having with OBS, and now I have homework to learn how to fix that.

I learned that I do have the motivation to write and read, it just might not come when desired, hence why I could write for the Predator idea, but not the Jurassic Park idea or the Marvel Rivals idea. I was able to read Jurassic Park for a while, because I wasn't distracted or it was how I utilized idle time.

There were so many ideas that came to mind I didn't pick one to go through all the way before going to the next thing. Mind you, I am working as a one man band for now.

I tried working on Marvel, JP, Predator, JPTG, a shoot I did for Martha's Vineyard (had some editing I wanted to fix), the volleyball tournament, dealing with being sick, working on chores, etc.; it was too much! Of course I couldn't make anything asides from the shoot to completion.

When I was in school, my photography professor reviewed a early preview of my final that I thought was finished. She pointed out places where I still could work on, I had just been too fast to complete the assessment and assess where I could improve before submission. I think that is a key element that I am struggling with as a creative.

I am being too fast.

And with that, I am going slow down.

One project at a time.